Ahhhh, the legal part of our website—that would be or our Site, as it is referred to herein. (See, "legal" just hits you right off the bat in this section!)

IMPORTANT: We are a happy, fun-loving, humorous group of humans and see no reason why legal writing has to be so boring and somber. But make no mistake, despite our irreverence at times, the following terms and conditions are legally binding and carry the full weight and power of the laws governing Privacy and Usage of our Site. (Scary warning now done.)

First, we respectfully ask that all visitors to our Site adhere to our terms and conditions. After all, it is our Site and we get to make the rules. But since we are a fun group, the rules aren't all that difficult to adhere to. Understand that by accessing our Site, you indicate your acknowledgment and acceptance of these terms and conditions. Also, it is your responsibility to check these terms periodically for changes because they can and do change, just like life. Your continued use of following the posting of changes to these terms will signify that you accept any changes. And acceptance of change is the first step towards growth!

Privacy Policy

Two by Four (referred to as "Two by Four," "we," "us," "our," or "the MOST AWESOME AGENCY ON THE PLANET!" herein) uses its best efforts to respect the privacy of its online visitors.

When you visit our site, your browser automatically sends us an IP (internet Protocol) address and certain other information (including the type of browser you use). We may use this IP address and other information to give you access to our Site and otherwise to administer the site. We may also ask you to provide personal information so that we can provide you with any information you request. (Just so you know, we will almost never ask you about your personal dating preferences.) You are under no obligation to provide us with this information, but without it, we may not be able to provide you the information you request. The site also includes features that allow you to communicate with us by electronic means such as email. You are responsible if you choose to use these features to provide personally identifying information to us. When you provide any personally identifying information, you affirm that you are knowingly and voluntarily providing us the information. Understand, that we may or may not respond to the electronic communication messages you send us. Our not responding could certainly be interpreted as rude if you so choose, that is of course your prerogative, but maybe we are just taking a fishing trip and we are unreachable-have you considered that? Nonetheless, by agreeing to these terms you understand that we are under no obligation to return any correspondence.

Please note that the use of digital cookies (not the yummy kind) and other information is used to optimize the viewing experience, troubleshoot any problems and better serve content. FYI, real cookies are used to lure fairy tale children into gingerbread houses and the outcome is not so sweet.

We work to ensure that the personally identifying information you do intentionally provide us remains private. We will not sell, rent, or trade the personally identifying information you provide to anyone outside of Two by Four unless we are required to do so by law. Please be aware, however, that it may be possible for others to read messages that you send over the internet, so do not send by electronic communication any information that you would like to keep confidential.

Restrictions On Use Of Materials

This site is owned and operated by Two by Four. No material from may be copied, modified, sold, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, tattooed onto your body or distributed in any way or in any manner or medium without written consent from an officer of Two by Four. If you receive written consent from an officer of Two by Four then you can use the material provided you keep intact all copyright and other proprietary notices. The following copyright notice must appear in every copy or reproduction of ANY material found on this site.

© 2021 Two by Four
Used With Permission.
All Rights Reserved.

ANY modification or use of the materials for any other purpose is a violation of Two by Four's copyright and other proprietary rights. Unless otherwise stated, all trademarks, service marks, and trade names are proprietary to Two by Four. So, no changing our stuff—we like it just the way it is. Just sayin'.


The material in this site is provided for lawful purposes only. Any third party software made available for downloading, copying or use through this site is proprietary to the individual or entity making such software available. Unless otherwise noted neither the title nor the intellectual property rights of the software, including all files, and images, contained in or generated by the software, are transferred to you. Which means don't use it because it's stealing. Downloading, copying or other use of such software is subject to the terms and conditions of the software licensing agreement relating to such software. You may not resell, decompile, reverse engineer, disassemble, or otherwise convert the software to a human perceivable form. See, messing around with software and can get ugly.

Intellectual Property Notice

Our Site features trademarks, copyrights and other intellectual property-which are the property of or are licensed to Two by Four. This site also contains trademarks, copyrights and other intellectual property rights of third parties, including our really awesome clients. All such rights are proprietary to their respective owners. Users are prohibited by law and these conditions from modifying, copying, distributing, transmitting, displaying, publishing, selling, licensing, creating derivative works or using any content on this site for commercial or public purposes. Except as specifically permitted in accordance with the terms and conditions governing use of this site, any use of such trademarks or trade names is strictly prohibited without the express written permission of these owners. You can, however, write a poem about your experiences with our site if you wish. Just don't perform it publicly.

Limitation Of Liability

Every user who visits our site does so at his or her own risk. The materials in this site are provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind, either express or implied, including, but not limited to the implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose, title, non-infringement, security or accuracy. Neither Two by Four, nor any other party involved in the creation, production or delivery of this site or whose materials, or information appear in this site, will not be liable for any damages or injury caused by, including but not limited to, any failure of performance, error, omission, interruption, defect, delay in operation of transmission, computer virus, line failure, technical inaccuracies, typographical errors or the inability to use the materials in this site, even if there is negligence on Two by Four's part or an authorized Two by Four representative has been advised of the possibility of such damages, or both. (WOW, let's be honest, there is nothing funny about that last sentence.) The above limitation or exclusion may not apply to you to the extent that applicable law may not allow the limitation or exclusion of liability for incidental or consequential damages. In that event, Two by Four's total liability to you for all losses, damages, and causes of action (in contract, tort, including without limitation, negligence or otherwise) will not be greater than the amount you paid to access this site. (Which we're guessin' ain't much.)


This site may include links to other websites operated by parties other than Two by Four. Two by Four is not responsible and assumes no responsibility for the contents of any non-Two by Four linked Internet website, or for any potential damage arising out of or in connection with the use of any such link. The internet websites to which links are provided in this site are not under the control of Two by Four. Access to any other Internet sites linked to the site is at the user's own risk. In addition, the existence of a link between this site and any other Internet website is not and shall not be understood to be an endorsement or review by Two by Four of any material, website policies, substance, information or of the owner or proprietor of the linked internet website, and such link shall not imply nor create any relationship nor endorsement between Two by Four and the owner or proprietor of such linked website.

In short, yes, we are most awesome here at Two by Four, but we are NOT in control of the entire world wide web. So, you're gonna have to give us a pass on any links that lead to a bad experience. Big thank you ahead of time.

Notice And Procedure For Making Claims Of Copyright Or Intellectual Property Infringment

Two by Four may, in appropriate circumstances and at its discretion, disable and/or terminate the access of users who infringe the intellectual property of others. Don't let this happen to you!

If you believe that your copyrighted work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, or your intellectual property rights have been otherwise violated, please provide Two by Four's Copyright Agent with a Notice containing the following information:

  1. An electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright or other intellectual property interest;
  2. A description of the copyrighted work or other intellectual property that you claim has been infringed;
  3. A description of where the material that you claim is infringing is located on the site;
  4. Your address, telephone number, and email address;
  5. A statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law;
  6. A statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your notice is accurate and that you are the copyright or intellectual property owner or authorized to act on the copyright or intellectual property owner's behalf.

Two by Four's Copyright Agent for Notice of claims of copyright or other intellectual property infringement can be reached via email at or via mail at Two by Four, Attention: Intellectual Property Concerns, 10 North Dearborn Drive, Suite 1000, Chicago, Illinois 60602 (312.381.0100).

Unsolicited Ideas

Please note that it is a policy of Two by Four not to accept or consider unsolicited creative, production-related or other materials of any kind. We develop the concepts and ideas for use in advertising, promotion, public relations and whatever else is appropriate to promote the products and services of our clients. In essence, we are in the idea business, so consequently if you send us ideas it kinda screws up our business. You see, you might have a great idea for one of our clients. Like, a fabulous idea. But what if we already had that idea but just haven't executed it yet? It could happen. And, in fact, it does happen. So, to avoid the appearance that we stole your idea—which we most certainly did not—we do not accept unsolicited ideas from anyone and that includes Two by Four employee mother-in-laws. (You'd be amazed at the number of mother-in-law generated ideas we get.)

So PLEASE, we beg you, do not send us any stories, pictures, photos, drawings, poems, jingles, songs, promotions, ads, artwork, music, or any other creative ideas for any reason.

But alas, despite our begging, some of you will still choose to submit unsolicited materials. So for you stubborn people, please KNOW that ALL such submissions to Two by Four through this Site will become the property of Two by Four forever. Two by Four will not be required to treat any Submission as confidential, and will not be liable for any ideas for its business (including without limitation, product, or advertising ideas for our clients) and will not incur any liability as a result of any similarities that may appear in future Two by Four operations. Without limitation, Two by Four will have exclusive ownership of all present and future existing rights to the Submission of every kind and nature everywhere. Two by Four will be entitled to use the Submission for any purpose whatsoever without compensation to you or any other person sending the Submission. So best if you don't send us stuff without written permission from our President, David Stevenson. You can write him requesting his permission at: Two by Four Attn: David Stevenson, President, 10 North Dearborn Drive, Suite 1000, Chicago, Illinois 60602. But, unfortunately, he rarely does the whole written permission thing given his general grumpiness. Oh and WHATEVER YOU DO, do not call or email him, because if you do, you will certainly NOT be granted permission.


Two by Four may amend or terminate these terms at any time for any reason, with or without notice. Unless specifically terminated by Two by Four, these terms remain in effect for all use made of this Site. Upon termination, you must destroy all materials obtained from this Site and all copies thereof, whether made under the terms of these terms or otherwise. We suggest a bonfire.


These terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Illinois, in the United States of America, regardless of where the user is based. You agree that any action at law or in equity arising out of or relating to these terms shall be filed only in the state or federal courts located in Cook County, Illinois, U.S.A., and you hereby consent and submit to the personal jurisdiction of such courts for the purposes of litigating any such action. If any provision of these terms shall be unlawful, void, or for any reason unenforceable, then that provision shall be deemed severable from these terms and shall not affect the validity and enforceability of any remaining provisions. That includes all the hilarious comedic writing found herein. Two by Four can revise these Terms and Conditions at any time by updating this posting. Two by Four may be contacted by writing to their Chicago headquarters at: 10 N Dearborn Suite 1000 Chicago, IL 60602